How I Lost 40lbs

Yesterday, as I do every Sunday morning, I stepped onto my bathroom scale, took note of my weight, and calculated my BMI (Body Mass Index). Only this was the first time in the past 6 years that I was categorized with a "NORMAL" BMI for my height and weight.

I've officially lost 40lbs, since March of last year, but my mini internal celebration didn't last very long. It's been a turbulent journey towards Wellness to say the least, and it's definitely not over yet. Through self-reflection over the past few years, I discovered that my life is a constant struggle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.

My recent weight loss over this past year and a half has been influenced greatly by my realization that being healthy is just as much psychological as it is physical. As a child, I developed an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food, my body, and my emotions. 

Food = Happiness

Food will always be a key happiness driver for me. I want to eat it ALL! I have a bucket list of restaurants and dishes I want to try in various cities all over the world. I have an extensive Pinterest board filled with recipes I'm dying to cook. Looking at and creating new #FoodPorn on Instagram fills me with joy.

Yelp is one of my most used Apps on my phone, and I never shy away from participating in any conversation involving food. When celebrating achievements and milestones, I want to eat. When I'm feeling anxious, upset, or stressed, I want to eat. When I'm looking for a reason to get together with friends or family, I suggest we eat. 

Nothing brings people together like food. Life shouldn't be about counting calories all the time. Sometimes, it's more important to create memories with people you love while enjoying and doing things that you love. I love eating, and I love food. But I don't love the panic and anxiety that accompanies when I've given into my cravings from time to time. 

The Fat One

Though I was a typical skinny Filipino kid at one point, my metabolism eventually did slow down, while my love of eating still remained. Growing up with siblings who maintained their incredibly fast metabolisms for far longer than I did, I was always a bit chubby, and I was commonly referred to as "The Fat One" in my family. 

Being Filipino, my family would regularly attend large family gatherings with endless amounts of my favorite Filipino foods and desserts. It was expected to eat when you were told, and it was seen as extremely disrespectful if you refused. These expectations were fine as a child, but once I started gaining weight, it turned into a double edged sword. 

Filipino adults do not sugar coat anything. If my parents, grandma or an aunt noticed that I've gained weight, no one would hesitate to say something to me. I've continued to hear these unkind comments, since I was 12. 

For 17 years of my life, I've been continuously told that I need to lose weight. Even when I was in the best shape of my life, dancing and conditioning for competitions, Monday through Friday for ~3 hours each day, my mom wouldn't shy away from telling me when an outfit made me look fat, and my dad would ask me "Why are you so fat?!" in a joking tone whenever he got the chance. Even though my family had good intentions, by bringing my weight to my attention, you can probably only imagine how this affected my body image and self-esteem.

For a long time, I would avoid looking at my naked body after taking a shower. I didn't want to validate the comments of others by finding and staring at my fat with my own eyes. 

I've grown to accept my body, flaws and all. I have scars and stretch marks. My weight may continue to fluctuate as I get older, and I know I'll probably always have curves. But as long as I know that I'm doing my best to stay healthy, mentally and physically, I'm okay with that.

Finding What's Best For Me and My Mental Health

I dated an obsessive United States Marine Sergeant about 5 years ago. Like the early stages of most relationships, you can only go out on so many dinner dates, before your food and happiness weight catches up to you. It was probably about 6 months into our relationship, and with the initial excitement of our honeymoon stage now settling down, I realized that I desperately needed to get back into shape. 

Though I knew he meant well, he tried to convince me to eat Paleo for the rest of my life, despite my adamant opposition. (This was the first of many arguments that would arise in our relationship, eventually leading to our inevitable breakup.)

Out of love, I tried to eat Paleo with him for about a month. I still remember how miserable it made me feel, especially because of my pre-established relationship with food. Eating delicious food makes me happy, so feeling deprived and guilty for craving cheese or a dessert after dinner was utterly depressing. 

I've always been a believer in honest communication, so I did my best to explain my unhappiness and that once the month was over, I was going to go back to being a mindful eater (80% Healthy 20% Unhealthy).

He was upset and tried to make me feel guilty about actively choosing to eat unhealthily from time to time. He wanted to convince me that I'll never be able to reach my fitness goals, but I knew better. I didn't want to diet on an all or nothing meal plan. I had to do what would be best for me.

Wellness can be broken down into two main facets: mind and body. This is where psychological and physical balance comes in. I didn't want to imagine living life crying into my salad, wishing it was bacon cheeseburger. Indulging every once in a while keeps me sane and prevents me from saying "F*CK IT" and eating every single deep-fried, salty, and fatty food I can find.

My relationship with food has changed over time. There was a time when I wouldn't just eat to the point where I felt full, but rather, I ate to the point where I hated myself. There's a fine line between eating to boost your mood and eating to the point of regret. 

Maintaining a wellness balance between my mind and body allows me to lose weight while keeping my sanity. I do my best to consciously pay attention to what I've been eating while staying consistently active. 

If you're struggling with your weight, I advise you to first evaluate your relationship with food and your body. In order to lose weight and keep it off, I've found that you need to be more self-aware of the entities causing your problems. Being healthy shouldn't be driven by your desire to achieve a perfect body, but rather an action of self-love. 

Eating well and exercising is a form of self-respect. Feel free to eat unhealthily if that makes you happy, but also respect and love yourself enough to identify when you're not taking good care of your body. 

XO,

Denise

Wellness 101: How I got started on my journey to Wellness!

Hello my Loves!

As many of you know, I have a new found love of health, which has inspired me to write my Wednesday blog posts as my new "Wellness 101". From my diet & fitness to what keeps me motivated, I want to share every piece of my personal Wellness journey with you all.

So to start off my Wellness 101, let's begin with how I got started!

At the end of April, I came to the realization that I was extremely unhappy with my overall health. I refused to step on a scale and see how much I weighed. Every morning, I was unhappy with what I saw in the mirror. My clothes didn't fit right, and I constantly felt sick and tired. I was always craving junk food and taking unnecessarily long naps.

When I finally reached my breaking point, I made the decision to pull myself together and change how I've been living. So far I've lost 15 pounds, but losing weight isn't the most important thing for me anymore. It's about loving myself and taking good care of my body. I'm so proud of myself for making this change, and I haven't looked back since!

Left: May 2013 Right: July 2013

xoxo

Denise Joyce

FITNESS FRIDAY: How I learned to Eat, Sleep, & Train like GOKU ♥

Hello my Loves! 

Today, I want to talk to you about my personal heath and fitness journey and more importantly, how I learned to push through negative thoughts to find a new love of wellness! In a recent video, I informed you all that I LOST15 LBS overall during the months of May and July. Physical fitness and overall health has grown into something very important to me. Over the past few years, I've realized that I've become incredibly lazy and ate so horribly. It wasn't until I was sick and tired of the way I felt and stepped on a scale that I knew that I had to take action or things wouldn't get better. Now that I've started moving again and eating better foods, I am no longer lethargic during the day, and I look forward to getting my workouts in each day. 

When you first change your diet and exercise plan, it's always hard to stay motivated and stick with it. Your body will go into a shock mode, thinking there is no way you can stick to it. There will be fast food cravings, and your comfy couch will be calling your name. But let me be the one to tell you, YOU CAN PUSH THROUGH IT! I find that once you push past the first difficult two weeks, the results you see and the feeling of accomplishment you get will make it all worthwhile. 

The key to my success these past couple of months has been this:

"Eat, Sleep, & Workout like GOKU!"

For those of you who don't understand the Dragonball Z reference, Goku is the main protagonist. He's eccentric, and when not training, he's either eating tons of food or sleeping endlessly. I love Goku's ability to incorporate these three key health factors into his everyday life, and it has inspired my personal diet and fitness routine. 

Now, let me break it down for you!

EAT: Choose Wisely! 
Even though Goku eats massive amounts of everything, I choose to eat MORE healthy food and LESS junk food. When it comes to dieting, people usually focus on the foods that they cannot have. By actively choosing to eat better foods without restricting myself entirely, I feel better about what I eat, and I never feel deprived. For example, I CHOOSE to only drink water and tea during the week, but I allow myself to drink soda and juice on the weekends. I can eat as much fruit and veggies as I want, but if I'm craving that molten chocolate lava cake for dessert, I MUST accompany it with a salad and drink a glass water first. 

Tip: Allow for one cheat day per week! 
When your diet is restricted, the brain sends signals to the rest of your body thinking that it's starving, which ultimately slows down your metabolism. To correct this, a cheat day allows your brain and body to feel well-fed and boosts your metabolism back up! 

SLEEP: At Least 6 Hours Per Night! 
Goku sleeps A LOT, as he should considering how hard he trains! No one really considers how important rest is for your overall health. Not getting enough shut-eye leads to junk food cravings and larger portions, because your body is looking for nutrients to help keep it moving. Eight hours of sleep is ideal, but if your busy schedule doesn't allow for it, try to get at least 6 hours each night. Getting less than 6 hours of sleep increases your body's production of the hunger hormone ghrelin, whereas getting more than 6 hours of sleep increases your body's production of leptin, which controls your appetite. 

In addition to getting a good night's sleep, rest days in between intense workouts are important to allow your body to rebuild overworked muscles. Not giving your body enough time to repair and replenish can cause your muscles to breakdown from being overworked, leading to serious injury. 

Tip: Sleep in complete darkness! 
(This was very difficult for me at first, since I have a phobia of things that cannot be seen in the dark and slept with a night light for most of my life.) Even the tiniest bit of light can disrupt your internal clock, so in order to get the best sleep possible and feel completely refreshed in the morning: close your door, pull down your blinds/close your curtains, and lights out! 

WORKOUT: & make it FUN!
On my Instagram, any pictures I post during my workouts over the past two months have included the hashtag "#HyperbolicTimeChamber". In Dragonball Z, the Hyperbolic Time Chamber is in a separate dimension from Earth, a training area where a year inside is equivalent to one day in real-time with increased gravity and air density. I imagine that my workouts, no matter how brief it may be, will impact my health and fitness for many years to come. It doesn't matter how you stay active or how long you workout for, as long as you're doing something. 

The most important part of an exercise for me is finding a way to make every workout fun. Whether it's lifting weights and using an elliptical at the gym, playing sports, running outside, strolling around the park, or hiking a trail up a mountain, I am constantly mixing up my workouts. This allows me to enjoy staying active and never have a boring workout. If I don't feel like going to the gym, I'll do what I want to do, such as going to the mall. The catch is that I have to WALK to get there since I chose to skip my original workout plan. 

Anyone can find new and exciting ways to incorporate fitness into their everyday life. No one should restrict their workout to an hour at the gym on the treadmill when you can find many alternatives that will make your workout more enjoyable.

Tip: Set a goal for yourself and reward yourself when you achieve it!
Setting out to accomplish a goal is the best way to get started or continue to motivate yourself. Want to fit in your size 6 jeans again? Want to be able to run a half-marathon? Whether the goal is big or small, when you finally accomplish it, you will feel amazing and ready to conquer the next one you set for yourself! 

Well, that's it for today's post. Be sure to follow me on Instagram: MorganFreeman7 for my latest workouts and healthy snacks that I've been concocting. Finding a new love of health and fitness has completely changed my outlook these past two months. I always look forward to planning my next workout now, and I drool when I think about picking up berries at the store and throwing together a yummy berry salad. I hope to continue to lose inches and pounds. I am excited to announce that I will be running in The GIANT Race 10K on August 4th! I hope this post inspired some of you to begin a wellness journey with a new positive outlook on health and fitness! ^______^

xoxo

Denise Joyce